May 3, 2021
yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live – 1 Corinthians 8:6
My husband isn’t my everything.
I know it sounds good as a caption under a beautiful post, but he isn’t. Now, you know I love my husband, you don’t have to have known me for long to know that I love some John Cheek…lol. Even still, he isn’t my EVERYTHING. Saying he is my everything is a subtle lie, but it is a lie nonetheless. But more than being untruthful, it can create problems.
Here are 3 reasons why:
Too much responsibility – when I tell my husband that he is my everything over and over it creates a level of responsibility that he should not carry. As my everything, he should fix all the problems, handle everything I need handled, and know all the answers. No husband can meet that expecation. As “everything”, he has to be husband, best friend, financial advisor, and so much more. No matter how great your husband is, he can’t handle all of that. No one should have to feel that they need to be all of that. Putting this pressure on your husband is unfair to him.
I have to be his everything – If he is my everything, than I should be his everything, right? So, why would he want to hang out with friends when he has me? Why would he want to spend time with others when he has me? This is the type of thinking that comes with making someone your everything. Your world has to revolve around them too. You can’t meet every need your spouse has any more than he can meet all of your needs. You both need healthy friendships and accountability outside of your marriage too. Isolating your marriage to just the two of you can end up causing resentment because of the other roles that you both carry.
Wife isn’t your only role – If you are anything like most of the wives I work with, you have multiple roles: wife, mom, daughter, entrepreneur, minister, teacher, social worker, you name it. You live a multifaceted life, as you should. Though wife is one of the most important roles, it certainly isn’t the only important role. If your husband is everything, what room does that leave for your children. If he is everything, what room does that leave for the purpose God created you to fulfill? You aren’t just a wife.
And here is the most important reason my husband isn’t my everything…God. If my world revolves around my husband, where does God end up in that scenario? The giver of life, the one who sustains and keeps me, can’t be second to anyone.
Love your husband, Sis. Honor him and prioritize him, but please don’t make the mistake of making him your everything. And don’t expect him to make you his everything. Love each other well, and keep things in perspective.
Next week, we are going to discuss who should take priority – husband or children. Make sure you check it out because it is a question I get very often.
Oh, and if you haven’t registered for Believing Wives Retreat 2021 you still have time! It’s going to be bananas! I can’t wait! Register here.