December 14, 2020
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds – Psalm 147:3
I got pregnant at 21 years old. At 22, I had a beautiful baby girl. I got pregnant again a little over a year later and had a son. At 24 years old, I was a single mom of two.
As a person who graduated in the top of her class and was voted “most likely to succeed”, I found myself full of shame. I was the talk of the town, and I felt that I had embarassed my parents and let them down.
I was oh, so broken. So, I got about the business of trying to “fix” myself. I worked hard. I finished college, and I married John, who is the father of all of my children. I became a teacher, which was my dream career, and I even went back to grad school and got a more administrative position.
I thought all of these accomplishments would redeem me. I thought getting married to the father of my children would redeem me. I thought having a perfect image would redeem me. I thought becoming heavily involved in ministry and church activity would redeem me.
None of those things did.
So, when I couldn’t fix things myself, I began to expect John to fix it all. I put pressure on him to validate me and heal my brokenness. I wanted him to put me on a pedestal and meet all of my needs. I wanted him to be the perfect husband – sit beside me dutifully in church, have the perfect career, fit into the perfect mold that I had in my head. I wanted him to make me feel that I wasn’t broken.
He couldn’t – not because he didn’t love me and want what was best, but because it was never his role to do that. I put strain on him and on our marriage unnecessarily. I did that – not dealing with my brokenness did that.
Sister, it’s time to take our healing out of the wrong hands and put it back in His. Your husband was not created to make you happy, complete you, or solve all of your problems. That’s the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Your husband was created to work in partnership with you, love and care for you, and advance the kingdom with you.
I don’t know the area of brokenness you battle. I can’t imagine the cause, but I know the cure. It is not your husband, your friendships, or your career. It is Christ. He promises to heal the broken, and He does not lie.
Spend some quiet time with the Father this week asking and expecting Him to heal the areas of brokenness in your life, and I assure you there will be results that affect your marriage.
Next week, I am going to share 3 ways I went from being a broken wife to being a believing wife, and I believe that the practical steps will benefit you.