Unspoken Expectations – Say What You Mean

You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. -James 4:2

Closed mouths don’t get fed.

I was riding with my son the other day, and he was making comments because my daughter and I had Chick-fil-a. Hints like: Oh, I bet that was nice, it would have been nice if I would have gotten something to eat, and the like. Finally, I said, “Son, if you want me to take you to get something to eat just say so. You know I will feed you if you are hungry”. We laughed about it, and, of course, I took him to get something to eat, but it highlighted a big issue to me.

So many relationships are breaking down because of a lack of communication – not miscommunication – simply not communicating at all: not communicating what you need, what you want, how you feel, and what you are thinking.

We still want our husbands to read our minds. We still think they should “know us by now” and pick up on our behaviors. We think they should pick up on our subtle hints and follow our bread crumbs of information like clues to what we really want. Do you know what can prevent us from becoming frustrated with their lack of detective skills? Just say what you mean.

Open your mouth and express yourself. Be honest. Say how you feel. Tell them what you would like. It takes less effort and eliminates unnecessary drama.

Though the scripture above is telling us to ask God for what we want, it definitely applies to our relationships. We fight for things we don’t have when we simply could have asked in the first place. We feel heartbroken when we didn’t get what we want, but we never expressed our desires. We get upset when boundaries are crossed when we never established them in the first place.

No more.

Be clear and direct. Have open, honest communication. Say what you mean (but don’t say it mean)!