September 14, 2020
And God said to him in a dream, “Yes, I know that you did this in the integrity of your heart. For I also withheld you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her – Genesis 20:6
What do I do when my husband makes a bad choice?
I’ve heard this question from several wives. I’ve even asked this question myself.
Every time I think of this question I’m reminded of the account of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 20. Abraham is the man that God has called the father of many nations. God has chosen him and set him apart. He is a righteous and upright man. Yet, even the best of us aren’t perfect. Abraham wasn’t either.
In Genesis 12, he asked his wife to lie about their relationship because he feared for his life. Sarah (then Sarai) was so beautiful that he thought the Egyptians would kill him and take her, so he told her to tell them that she was his sister. God spared them both by sending a plague to the Pharaoh’s house that caused him to send them away.
You would think that after such a close call and mighty deliverance Abraham would never do that again, but in Genesis 20 we see that he does the exact same thing. They encounter King Abimelech and Abraham tell Sarah to tell the king that she is his sister. The king takes her to the palace and would have slept with her, but God warned him in a dream not to touch her or he would die.
Abraham’s choices put Sarah in danger twice. We could discuss his flaws and wrongs. We could discuss what Sarah should have done or talk about what we would do if our husbands asked us to lie. Instead, I want to focus on one thing that was consistent even when Abraham wasn’t: God’s protection.
God kept Sarah from being harmed by both the pharaoh and the king. God protected Sarah when Abraham couldn’t. He would not let her remain in bondage to Abraham’s mistakes. He sent a plague to one and a dream to the other to ensure that she would not be harmed. God will do no less to protect you too.
Maybe your husband has made a large purchase or entered a business venture that will affect your financial future. Maybe he has made poor choices in friends or relationships. Maybe he has started something you don’t agree with or won’t finish something that you know he should complete. These things certainly affect you, but I want you to see something bigger than his choices: God will protect you.
God will protect you when you spouse makes bad choices, and he will protect your spouse when you make bad choices (because both of us will at some point). We just have to learn to trust God even when we struggle to trust our spouse. God’s plan is bigger than one decision, and he can work good out of the worst situations.
So, do we keep quiet while our husband’s make poor choices? Absolutely not.
God has given us the ability to voice our opinions and take steps of faith. I would never advocate staying in a marriage that puts you in physical danger, and I hope that you don’t read that in this post. What I will advocate is trusting God to protect you as you follow His leading. He will never leave you or forsake you.