August 24, 2020
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband – Ephesians 5:33
Do you respect your husband?
Do you think that you are smarter than he is? Do you think you are more financially astute? Do you think that you are more driven?
You might be all of those things, but you still aren’t better than he is. And He still deserves your respect. If you interact with him as if you are better than he is I can guarantee you that you don’t respect him.
Many of us are bosses, leaders, and change agents in every arena. Yet, God still calls us to submit to our husbands and give them respect. Hear this, God expects us to respect our husbands just like He expects our husbands to love us. Men need respect. Note that I didn’t say that want it. They do, but God has wired them to need it. You may not believe me, but respect ranks higher on their list of needs than sex. Trust me, if you are disrepectful to your husband he is not going to stay just for the sake of sex.
Your husband wants to be respected by you. He wants to know that he is respected by you, and he wants to feel respected by you. He needs you to show that you respect his feelings, opinions, and roles in your life.
Here are three areas that you can show your husband respect:
Use Your Words – minimize your criticism and maximize your compliments – when your husband does something that you appreciate or enjoy let him know. Be grateful, thankful, and specific. Let your compliments outnumber your criticism. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever have to address a difficult issue because you will, but it won’t be seen as “nagging” or “always complaining” if you are more profuse in your building up than your tearing down
Ask for Help – Men love to solve problems and fix things. When you need help solving a problem ask for their input. It is insulting to them when you’ve run to your friends with problems that they were never aware of, so ask their opinions. This can range from how to organize a drawer to how you guys are going to afford a new house. You don’t have to be a damsel in distress, but you can (and should) lean on your husband for help. Include spiritual matters as well – I assure you that God talks to them too. Allow them to assume their role in spiritual leadership in your home!
Practically – respect your husband in practical ways – this ranges from respecting that he likes to have sex three times a week to respecting that he doesn’t like it when you use his toothpaste. Respect the small things so they don’t become big things. If he doesn’t like it when you use his brush, don’t use it. If he asks that you not wear his socks, don’t wear them. It may seem simple to you, but it communicates lack of respect to them.
One of the most detrimental actions in marriage is disrespect. Tearing down our husbands with our words, undermining their decisions, or completely disregarding their feelings are all ways in which we sabotage our relationships.
If you did a quick evaluation of the way you talked to your husband, how often you considered him when making decisions, and whether you embraced or dismissed his suggestions or feelings what would you learn? Have you shown him respect?
Which of the areas mentioned above could you begin making changes in? Just pick one area and start there.
Honor God by respecting your husband, and watch how God enhances the love and health of your marriage.