When Your Heart Hurts…

Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh

-Ezekiel 11:13

I have experienced heartache. No matter what is portrayed on social media, we all have. I can recall a specific heartache that happened between me and a dear friend that I want to share with you today.

One Saturday morning, I attended a powerful class at my church. I mean the presence of God was tangible and overwhelming. I remember praying during this time, “God give me your heart. Give me a heart like yours — a heart that loves, a heart that forgives”. I said that over and over for a while. Honestly, it stuck out to me afterward, not because I don’t desire God’s heart but the intensity and urgency of that prayer was great. Later that afternoon, I found out that I had been betrayed by someone. Ouch! Now, I don’t know if you have experienced betrayal before, but it is the kind of pain that really hits you in the chest. It knocks the breath out of you. If you are not careful, it can send you into a whirlwind of emotion. It is especially potent if it is from someone close to you like a spouse, family member, or dear friend.

I contemplated all types of actions: confrontation, withdrawal, a full on fit, but do you know what I did? I prayed the same prayer that I had prayed earlier that morning: God give me your heart. I prayed it over and over again. I prayed it until I felt the anger subside. I prayed it until I knew that I wouldn’t act crazy when I saw the person again (don’t judge me…lol).

How does this apply to marriage? I’m glad you asked. People often get hurt and betrayed in marriage. I have before. Many of the ladies God allows me to share with have. Many of you may have. That pain is real. The confusion and desire to close yourself off that accompany that hurt is real, but you have an alternative.

You can ask God to heal your heart. You can ask Him to give you a heart like His.

This is bigger than wanting a marriage or relationship to work. This is about wanting to represent God well and truly live out what you believe. You have to ask Him to remove anger, bitterness, revenge, and rejection from your heart. You have to read scriptures that address these topics. You have to talk with trusted people who will tell you what you need (not just what you want) to hear.

This is a process that sometimes takes a little time, but if you are committed God will heal you. You will be able to love those who have hurt you and pray for them with sincerity. You will be able to speak to them as if nothing happened. You will no longer want revenge for their actions. You will have the mind of Christ at work in you.

Perhaps there is something in your heart toward you spouse today. Maybe you are holding on to something that hurt you even though you decided to stay together and love each other. Will you pray today that God will give you His heart? Will you ask Him to remove any negativity so that you can move forward in a way that pleases Him? He is waiting to heal every area of your life!