I Can't Fix This

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?

-Jeremiah 32:27

I’m a “fixer” by nature. I love to solve problems. I even do logic puzzles and brain teasers. I love math. It just makes sense (and I like that there is an actual answer) because, once again, I’m a fixer. Maybe you are too.

But what happens when there is an issue that you can’t fix…a problem that you can’t solve?

That’s what I faced in my marriage in the early years. John and I had problems. Yep, we sure did. The answers seemed so simple to me: John should just do what I thought he should do. Problem solved! It didn’t work that way (and, honestly, I’m now glad that it didn’t).

Many times there aren’t simple answers when human hearts are involved. The problem wasn’t just John. It was me too. I couldn’t control him. Shoot, I couldn’t really control me at the time. None of that stopped me from trying everything I could think of to fix the problem. I just wanted to issue to be gone and the pain to end.

But I couldn’t fix it.

There comes a time in your life, and your marriage, that you will face issues that are out of your control. There are going to be some issues that you can’t fix. You can waste words, energy, and lots of years trying to fix it yourself, or you can acknowledge that you need help.

That’s what I did. I stopped trying my ridiculous methods of self-help. I stopped telling my friends (who meant well but had no real power to fix the problem) everything that was going on. I stopped trying to manipulate and control John.

I started consulting God and His word. He created marriage, and He has all the answers. I prayed. I mean, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed for God to soften my heart, soften John’s heart, heal us, draw us closer, and so much more. I learned how to obey God in my marriage: to listen more than I spoke, to honor and respect my husband, and to give him priority in my life.

I couldn’t fix it, but God could…and He fixed it better than I ever could.

Whatever you are facing…whatever it is that you can’t fix…seek help from the ultimate helper, God. He wants your marriage to be successful more than you do. Find trusted, seasoned counselors or Christian advisers that can hold you accountable and support you.

It’s ok if you can’t fix it. God can!

Debra CheekComment