You Are A Christian, But Is Your Marriage?

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:22-27

People are Christians, but sometimes our marriages are not. As individuals, we believe in Christ, but have we allowed that belief to transform our marriages? When we married our spouse we entered into holy matrimony, and I think that a lot of us have forgotten that. We have forgotten that God united us with our spouse as one in order to fulfill purpose.

We have bought into the world’s view of marriage. We have believed lives such as:

  • once we get married we will live happily ever after and conflict-free

  • it’s our spouse’s job to make us happy

  • (and possibly the worst lie) your spouse should complete you

None of these are the purpose for marriage. It’s not so that someone can make you happy. That’s a huge responsibility to put on another person. It’s not so that someone can complete you. Only God can do that.

Marriage is a holy and sacred union created by God, and it is more about holiness than we think. Godly marriages should draw each spouse closer to Christ as they draw closer to each other. Our marriages should make us better as we sharpen and refine, cover and protect, honor and help each other. Christian marriage is about Christ’s image and not our own.

Marriage is supposed to mirror Christ’s relationship with the church, and there are a few key characteristics of Christ’s that we should see in our unions:

  1. Love - God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die in our place (John 3:16). Love is much more about action than it is about feelings. Love does what is right simply because it is right. Love covers. Love forgives. Love endures. Love should be evident in our marriages in how we speak to our spouses and how we respond to them.

  2. Sacrifice - Jesus demonstrated His love by laying down His life. This was the ultimate sacrifice. We are being asked to lay down our lives in a different way; by humbling ourselves. Marriage requires that we have to lay down our pride, preferences, and sometimes what we think is a priority for the greater good.

  3. Unity - The whole goal of marriage is oneness (Genesis 2:24). God wants us to be united. This means that our marriages can’t be characterized by chaos and discord. Peace needs to reign in our hearts and in our homes.

We have to get back to God’s plan for marriage. We must become the husbands and wives that He ordained us to be so that we can fulfill that plan and advance the kingdom. Marriage is not just a piece of paper; it’s a holy institution created by a holy God.

Let’s make sure our marriages are just as Christian as we are.

Debra Cheek