Let's Start Over...AGAIN!
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19
It's Monday, and someone somewhere is starting their new diet - AGAIN...starting to eating healthy - AGAIN...committing to work out more - AGAIN.
Is it you? Have you ever done that? Decide on Wednesday that you are going to start eating right on Monday?
I have. I've done it plenty of times. I've eaten like a crazy person all weekend long and committed to changing my diet on Monday more times than I can count. Somehow "Monday" is the universal day of fresh start.
Here is the thing. I don't have to wait until Monday. I can start the next moment, the next minute, or within the next hour. You can too.
What does this have to do with marriage? More than you think. Some of us feel that things have gotten so out of hand that we have to wait for conditions to be right to start over, work on our marriage, or make better choices:
I'll wait until he apologizes
I'll wait until he calls me
I'll wait until he comes to his senses
I'll wait until we have to talk about finances, children, etc.
I'll wait until...
What we don't realize is that while we are waiting we are missing out on time to draw close. We are missing out on time that we could be living in peace instead of turmoil. We are putting off doing what we know is right because our pride is in the way or because it is going to take some effort.
Listen, friend, time is something that we don't have in abundance. You need to maximize every minute that you have.
You don't have time to wait until conditions are perfect. You don't have time to wait until the other person gets it right. Swallow your pride and do your part. Obey God, Sis.
Your marriage may just need a fresh start, and as unfair as it may feel, it might just begin with you. Here is what I encourage you to do if you want a fresh start:
Let the past be the past (I get it. It hurt. It was wrong. It wasn't fair, but if you want to move forward there are just some things you are going to have to release).
Stop keeping score. When we keep score we expect our partners to work to make it even. Sometimes, though, we keep moving the bar. We want them to do more and more to "earn" our forgiveness or the right to start over. If you really want to start over, you can't keep score. You have to start with a clean slate.
Do your part. It may seem unfair, but you have to do what God says do. He holds you accountable for your actions, not your husbands. Stop doing things that you know are wrong and expecting it to be ok. It's not. Get it together, Sis. Be the wife that God has called you to be.
Love. Yep, just that one word makes a difference. Love your spouse like God loves you. His love doesn't have conditions or hoops for you to jump through, and He gives you a fresh start every day. Love your husband. Love him more than you want to get back at him. Love him more than you want him to hurt like you hurt. Love him more than you are upset with him. Just love the brother!
Start over, friend. After all...it's Monday!