Pay Attention to Your Spouse!

Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12

May I give you some practical advice today? Pay attention to your spouse. Please. It sounds so simple, but it is easy to forget, and it is a major tool that the enemy is using in his assault on marriages.

I talk to a lot of wives whose marriages are under attack. Most all of them will say that there were signs along the way and that they didn't pay attention to their spouse like they should have. I don't want that to be your story. So, pay attention.

We think that the biggest thing that ends a marriage is an affair, and maybe it is. But here is the truth - affairs don't happen over night. They happen in stages, and it typically starts with a husband or wife who feels that they are neglected. It doesn't excuse their behavior at all, but we are in denial if we act as if it is not a factor. Divorce happens because two people become disconnected, distracted, and discontent.

So, protect your union by paying attention to your spouse. It keeps your bond strong and your lines of communication clear. It makes it easier for you to see when things are not "ok" and work toward a solution. It gives us an opportunity to prevent division rather than have to try to recover.

Here are some practical ways to pay attention to your spouse:

Listen to them - When they are talking to you give them your attention. Don't interrupt. Don't act like what they are saying is unimportant. Just you would want them to listen to you. If you will listen, you will hear them tell you they need your attention. You will hear them say they are dissatisfied with something or need your support in an area. Don't dismiss these moments of clarity. Perceive them as warnings and act accordingly.

Put your phone down - don't try to divide your focus between social media and your spouse. Show them that they are more important than your timeline or newsfeed.

Greet them - when your spouse walks through the door greet them. Give them a hug, kiss, or simply "how was your day". Acknowledge their presence as important.

Notice changes - give them complements. Notice their haircut or the fact that they are slimming down. Notice that they organized something or completed that project they've been working on for a while.

Do something they like - get their favorite candy, cook their favorite meal, or go to their favorite place. Doing things they like reinforces that you know them and prioritize them. It won't kill you to watch one half of a basketball game or sit through that action movie.

The point is that your spouse doesn't just want your attention. They need it, just like you need their attention. You want to feel loved. You want to feel important. So do they. Find ways this week to make sure that your spouse has your attention.

I've listed a few ways, but there are thousands more. Comment below ideas you have for giving your spouse well-deserved attention.

Debra CheekComment