Marriage Killer #2 - Pride

Pride goes before destruction,

And a haughty spirit before a fall.

-Proverbs 16:18

It's been destroying relationships since the beginning of time - pride.

Pride caused Lucifer to be separated from God.

Pride caused King Saul to lose his kingdom and a great relationship with David.

Pride caused the Pharisees to miss the Messiah who was right in front of them.

That's what pride does. It destroys. It infiltrates relationships that could be powerful and effective and renders them powerless.

Pride divides - it separates.

You may be familiar with it's close relatives - envy and jealousy. You can be sure that wherever you find pride envy and jealousy are in close proximity. You will also certainly find strife nearby because once again, pride separates.

How does this show up in marriage? I'm glad that you asked. Pride makes you feel like your spouse owes you something. Pride makes you feel that you are right and your spouse is wrong. Pride keeps you from forgiving and asking for forgiveness. Pride keeps score, and somehow, it makes sure that the score is never tied. It keeps you in competition and not covenant. Strife - arguing, fussing, and discord - is a sure sign that pride is in play.

Pride is destructive. It causes us to be stubborn and stuck. Maybe you have never considered how pride can be at work in marriage, but I assure you it can. Many couples have ended up divorced not because they lacked love but because they were unwilling to humble themselves and work it out.

Marriage requires humility and submission - things that are the total opposite of pride. No matter what you have achieved, accomplished, or mastered, you still have to learn to submit to your spouse. There is a give and take in marriage that means in order for us both to win we have to be willing to let some things go and not win every argument.

Here are a few signs that pride has entered your heart regarding your spouse/marriage:

you find lots of faults in your spouse

you are more concerned with what your marriage looks like (image) than what it is like

you can justify all of your actions but condemn the actions of your spouse

you think your spouse owes you something/you deserve things

you want all the attention

you think you can fix everything/handle everything/do everything

you do it all yourself because no one can do it like you want it done

you are selfish

There are many more symptoms of pride, and I encourage you to ask God to search your heart and reveal any of them to you. Be vigilant to rid your life of any pride that you find. Humble yourself, and watch God work in your marriage.

Do you see any symptoms of pride in your marriage? What steps will you take to remove pride?

Debra CheekComment